Balanced parenting is about having individuality and relationship in equal amounts in families.
Some families have an overload of relationships in that children don't feel safe or allowed to have their own ideas, opinions or interests in life.
Whereas others may have too much individuality and be poor at relating to each other.
The family style with the highest relationship score is the enmeshed family.
This family thinks as one, doesn't like outsiders coming into their home and so children of this family are not encouraged to bring friends home. Most activities are done as a family, and when it is time for the children to leave home, they have great trouble emotionally separating from the parents, and may still require their approval and advice.
The family style with less relationship and more individuality is the protecting family. The key to defining this family is that one parent or a grandparent, will most often take sides with the children and undermine any rules the family may have. This parent cannot cope with the children being angry at them, thus he/she cannot stand up to the children's demands.
On the other hand we have two family styles that have high individuality and very low relationship. The chaotic family pays much more attention to outside interests; work, sport, friends, than to their own children.
The style that is slightly more relational is the ruling family, held together by chores and responsibility. However the rules are overly strong and unbreakable, even for special occasions.On the positive side, children feel very secure in this family as it is very predictable.
The balanced family is the bonding family. Here the parents are equally in charge of the household, and the children feel secure and respected. Difference is valued and individual interests are encouraged and supported by the parents.
Children are not expected of more than they can manage for their age, the parents taking resposibility for the well-being of the children.
Building Families for Life helps participants identify their parenting style. Session 1 looks at the style each grew up in, so that parenting habits from their own childhood can be acknowledged; and session 2 looks at the parenting style that is happening in the family now, as the other parent may be from a family with a different parenting style. Each session finishes with practical goals to undertake to improve individuality or relationship in families.
Become the parent you want to be
