Helping children think about their actions

Consequences work better than conflict

Smacking and the physical punishment of children is receiving a lot of attention in NZ. Some parents don't know of any other way to get their children to behave, to keep to the rules or limits.

Consequences are a natural outcome of any behaviour. There are good consequences, such as passing an exam after working hard, or not so good consequences such as failing that exam because they didn't do the work.
Children need to learn to think through their decisions and behaviour as they learn to know there will be a consequence or outcome to their choices.

Consequences can also be used to help children manage their behaviour. Families can set up their own behaviour contract with their children, and the consequences if rules are broken. Then, when the worst happens, parents can just remind them of the contract and the choice the child has made to disregard it. There is no shouting, or hitting, just the response of the young person coming face to face with a consequence he/she may have chosen anyway.

This can also work with little ones as they are reminded for example, that if they get down from the table, they are choosing not to have any more to eat.

This session gives a variety of options to choose from as consequences, keeping in mind the age of the child concerned.